Garcia y Vega Game Green

Here I have a lovely little 2-pack I picked up at my B&M, errrrrr… the gas station.  Since these were behind the counter it was difficult for me to choose which one to get, I asked the clerk what flavors he had and he said “wine, vanilla, green and peach”. Oh yes, I have to see what flavor “green” is.  I’ll take a pack of those. So with a smile on my face and great anticipation I took my Game Green cigars, 1 gallon of gas, pack of beef jerky and caffeine free Diet Coke and headed out. Sweet…

Once the evening eHerf rolled around I couldn’t wait to try one of these – at first it was a toss up between a DPG Blue and the Game Green but then I said “Wait, what am I thinking? I’ve – got – GAME!” So, I tore the top tab off the pouch, unsnapped the ziploc top (they are recloseable to retain freshness) and slid one of these beauties out.  The first thing you notice is the amazingly green wrapper, they say it is a quick-cured candela but I suspect it may have been aged in left over nuclear waste barrels.

WOW! I repeat… WOW! The aroma of this is hard to describe, even harder to type as it was burning my eyes as well as my nose. Picture this… an MMA fighter wraps his hands in tape then dips them in nutmeg, honey, pancake syrup and pecans then repeatedly punches you in the mouth, nose and eye sockets – that is probably as close as you can get to the sensation of smelling a Game Green cigar.

Toasting the foot of this cigar is really not necessary, as soon as you touch it with the flame it lights up like an oil-soaked rag.  I took a couple puffs on the Game and I really and truly can’t describe the sensation that I got, let’s just say “not good”.

Smoking this was like taking it to the next level of pain.  This cigar is just, just… wrong.  The sugary-sweet, diesel-fuely, pecanness of this cigar is insane.  Why would Garcia OR Vega do this to me, much less Garcia Y Vega??? Those scoundrels.

Let’s review what we’ve got here…
Filler: Cleveland
Binder: Detroit
Wrapper: Chernobyl
Size 4 1/2″ x 32RG
Cutter: No cutter needed, the extremely phallic cigar already has a hole in the head… umm, cap.
Drink: I recommend bleach.

SUMMARY
These cigars should be made illegal and the folks and Garcia y Vega should be beaten to make sure they don’t do this again. There is no reason under the sun that any human should ever smoke one of these – unless you are stranded in the wilderness in Montana and you are attempting to leave a scent trail that bloodhounds can pick up from 100 miles away.

HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY! HAVE FUN!